How to deal with divorce pain?
I know you probably haven’t heard this term before. But when I read this in Brian Tracy’s Book, Maximum Achievement, I was jumping for joy because this is exactly what I’m teaching in the Divorce by Rose app. This is exactly what I‘ve been saying all along in my coaching years and I want to read this to you because it makes so much sense that I want you to know about this.
The number one reason why people are really afraid of divorce is because they’ve heard so many horror stories from other people that they think that everyone has to turn out this way, that every situation has to be that way, that every one of their exes is going to become like that. So, they start off with a very “different” mental attitude that is really not conducive to having a peaceful divorce.
The psychological trauma of divorce can come from the “unknown”
I want to read this to you then I want to show you what you should be doing instead. It says: “The second major obstacle to change is a hardening of attitude. Psychosclerosis is your natural tendency to fall in love with your own ideas and to vigorously defend them against anything new. The opposite of psychosclerosis is flexibility, the willingness to consider other points of views, other ideas with the very real possibility that you could be wrong. This mental flexibility is the mark of the superior person. The very act of considering all options in a particular situation, enables you to see much more of what is possible for you. Instead of using your intelligence to find fault with alternate approaches, you suspend judgement long enough to see if you can’t find something beneficial in a different idea or in a new way of doing things”.
Your relationship after divorce with yourself
This is exactly what is going to make you or break you in your divorce. If you are fixated in a particular way of doing things and you are going towards the 3 phases of divorce: ego, power and money, you’re going to fall right into psychosclerosis. You are going to have the most hardening of attitudes. And you’re going to think with 100% certainty that you’re always going to be right, you’re always going to win, you’re always going to get what you want and the reality is that you’re not. You’re not always going to be the winner. It is impossible- it’s virtually impossible that way. So, if you want to divorce in a different way- what I call, divorcing the RIGHT way, your best bet is to surround yourself with people who can give you tools, strategies, suggestions, ideas and advice. And this is what we are doing in Divorce by Rose. We are putting together parents who have questions, concerns and worries with the coaches, experts and professionals who have the answers, the tools, the wisdom and can help you move forward with your life.
Often, we “think” we understand what is happening to us and also that we can “figure it out”. After my decade long nasty divorce, I understood that my suffering was not just about ME, it was that I did not understand the divorce game nor did I think that my divorce journey would have been so difficult.
I highly recommed that you explore how to logically plan your divorce, how to get your divorce finances and budget in order and also, the 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce.